When Amazon first launched in 1995 as a website that only sold books according to Avery Hartmans, founder Jeff Bezos had a vision for the company's explosive growth and e-commerce domination.
He knew from the very beginning, he wanted Amazon to be "an everything store." In author Brad Stone's 2013 book on the origins of Amazon, he paints a picture of the early days of the company and how it grew into the behemoth that it is today. Amazon got started out of Bezos' garage and the servers that the company used required so much power that Bezos and his wife couldn't run a hair dryer or a vacuum in the house without blowing a fuse.
According to Steve Jobs, when you are growing a business it is hard work and if you are not 100% committed, mentally and physically, you will give up. But the question is, how do you keep that focus and composure in the face of so much adversity?
God knows I have faced and too small extent, I am still facing a number of obstacles along the way and sometimes you question yourself on the validity of staying on a road that is sometimes very curvy, bumpy and downright scary at times. But to live in a car for three years man and still have that temerity to follow your dream is quite amazing. I often wonder how do you keep it together mentally.
To persevere in the face of so much adversity requires a strong mindset and a deep relationship with God, no doubt about it. Individuals like Steve Harvey Steve Jobs, Oprah, and many, many others who have traveled that road, exhibit some common characteristic that kept them from raising the white flag and surrendering. I found this article on Forbes from Cheryl Conner that outlined a very impressive list of things mentally strong people avoid. This list came from Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, who uniquely illustrates the distinct qualities of mentally strong people and if you ever wondered why some people achieve their dreams and some don’t; read on.
Mentally strong people don’t:
Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
According to Amy Morin, mentally strong people, don’t waste time feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair.
Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself when something does not go your way, learn the lesson from it and move on. Les Brown said something that is so instructive "when life knocks you down, try to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up". Mentally strong people can emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned.
Give Away Their Power
Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond. Tyler Perry in his Tuskegee University Commencement speech 2016 said that when people publish and say negative things about him, it gives him the motivation to make more movies, help more people and produce great plays. Never allow people to bring you down to their level.
Shy Away from Change
Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear," if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best. After 25 years, Oprah Winfrey decided to start her own network because her growth was stagnated and her desired to do something different led her to start OWN. Every successful person I read about all indicated that their comfort zone is their biggest enemy and they always find avenues to reinvent themselves to stay relevant.
Worry About Pleasing Others
Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to displease others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.
Dwell on the Past
There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.
Give Up After Failure
Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail, again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.
Feel the World Owes Them Anything
Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package, and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.
Expect Immediate Results
Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.
Steve Harvey, Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey, my mom, and dad etc. all embodied these principles. Life is never a straight road, sometimes I have to remind myself about that every day. If you want something bad enough, you must go out and fight for it, things will not fall in your lap without any work. Use the list above as a guide to get your mind right and know that, once you develop the mental capacity to achieve it, you will.
Gifford is the founder of Leadership First and the author of Communication For Change Management, Mastering Communication To Architect Change
Ford, Starbucks, Xerox, and Apple experienced phenomenal turnarounds because communication was used to inspire their company to believe in the impossible. The research from this book proves that communication should never be an afterthought when planning and implementing change. Available Here