I recently embarked on a coaching journey with a small business owner. Even though the current business was a success and provided a stable income, his entrepreneurial spirit urged him to start something new. Something different. Something exciting again after growing bored with the mundane routine of a fully operational business. wanting to systematically move into a different industry. He already started with the new goal.
His goal is a smooth transition without any financial impact. On the one hand, there is the slow phasing out the current business. On the other, growing the new business venture without impacting his current service offering. Coaching would be something new for this established business owner.
The conflict
During the first few sessions, we explored his vision. We attempted to get closer to what an ideal day would look like. One of the exercises we used was to draw his future self on a piece of paper, as pictures are the language he best understands.
He immediately drew an image of how he saw himself, without any time to think much about the details. I started exploring the details by asking probing questions, and suddenly the entire picture changed into something else. His subconscious mind told me he wanted something, while his logical, thinking mind told me something totally different. There was a big, irreconcilable conflict between what he wanted for himself, and what he thought other people wanted from him.
Not knowing all the answers
Attempting to resolve the conflict, I explored different aspects of the vision, trying to reconcile the differences. Yet, each time he didn’t know the answer to a question, he would become angry, shutting down. Regardless of how many different perspectives or exercises we tried, sooner or later I would run into the same wall, stopping us from progressing.
It was clear that it made him very uncomfortable not knowing the answers. Being used to always knowing what to do next, suddenly he felt very vulnerable. I recognized the deep-seated fear, common in many leaders, of being seen as inadequate. Suddenly, he was in unknown territory and far outside of his comfort zone.