Note: This blog is an excerpt from my new books, Leadership Gems for Women and Leadership Gems.
Often, we think of courage as being brave in the face of adversity, fear, or danger. Our heroes are brave: the firefighter who rushes into a burning building to rescue a child or the medical flight team that flies bravely into a storm to transport an accident victim. But, courage is more than that. Courage is the will to stand up and do the right thing, even when it’s not the easy thing.
Life (and leadership) is full of challenges. It takes courage to meet them head on and come out victorious on the other side. We are called to be brave, even when we are just as fearful as those who are following us.
It’s not that leaders don’t feel fear. They feel it too but have learned to overcome it with courage. When we overcome fear with courage, we inspire everyone else to do the same. As Billy Graham once stated, “Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.” This applies to us women too.
It takes courage to resign from a good paying job when you realize the company isn’t ethical. It takes courage to learn something new and get outside of your comfort zone. It takes courage to admit your character flaws and intentionally work to improve them.
Fear is something we create with our thoughts. In the words of Dale Carnegie, “…Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your mind.” That’s why different people have different fears – because they think differently.
I am often asked if I’m ever afraid before I speak to a large group. Most people have a fear of speaking in public, so they assume everyone else has the same fear.
That’s not true however. I’m not afraid of speaking in public because I’m not afraid of making a mistake. I already know I’m not perfect, and I don’t pretend to be. So, there is no reason for me to be afraid of speaking in public. The worst that can happen is that I make a mistake, and I’m prepared for that.
Everyone faces fear. The question is, what will we do about it?
Nelson Mandela said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Fear is the emotion we create when we think worried thoughts. We create fear by telling ourselves all the bad things that can happen. And, what we focus on expands. To be courageous and overcome fear, we must identify a reason to move forward that is stronger than our fear.
This comes down to our core values and allowing them to guide us, rather than emotions of worry, concern, or fear.
The vast majority of our fears are completely unfounded anyway. Robert Leahy, in his book, The Worry Cure, cites a statistic that 85% of what we are afraid of never happens.
Disclaimer – this does not include appropriate fears which drive sensible behavior. If you see a large, poisonous snake on the path while you are out hiking, it’s perfectly appropriate to be afraid of getting bit. That is a valid concern.
Act accordingly. Refusing to take appropriate action when there is truly a dangerous situation isn’t bravery – it’s stupidity. Let’s look at how to overcome fear and be courageous.
IDENTIFY YOUR FEAR
When you find yourself not taking action or not moving forward, take the time to really think about why. As a woman, there may be many things you’re afraid of. Fear of failure. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of not being popular.
Fear that others may not agree with your decision. Stephen Covey referred to the “Circle of Concern,” where everything you can’t control or influence is placed. If you venture into the “Circle of Concern,” you are simply wasting valuable time and energy.
IDENTIFY WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Once you have identified your fear, quit thinking about it. Instead, make a list of everything you can control, influence, or cause to happen instead. This is where truly successful women spend their time and energy – on the things they can do. If you focus your time, energy, and effort on the things you can control, you will find over time there will be less things in your “Circle of Concern.”
TAKE ACTION
If the situation is out of your control, there isn’t any reason to worry about it. Not moving forward at all or never taking a risk isn’t an option for very successful leaders. They see mistakes as learning opportunities, failures as strength builders, and the unknown as potential for positive things. As Muhammad Ali said, “He (she) who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”
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Like many, I faced adversity in life. Raised on an isolated farm in Alabama, I was sexually abused by my father from age 12 – 19. Desperate to escape, I left home at 19 without a job, a car, or even a high school diploma. I went on to thrive. I worked my way through school, an MBA, and a successful career in the corporate world of administrative healthcare. Now a full time motivational leadership speaker and author of 9 books, I co-founded Top Story Leadership with my husband Mack Story.
Mark Twain said, “The two greatest days in your life are the day you are born and the day you discover why.” My “why” is to share my story and inspire you to reach your potential, regardless of your past or present circumstances. Watch a 3 minute video of me sharing my story from the stage here.