On a warm sunny day in Mexico, Sheryl Sandberg and her husband were vacationing when tragedy struck. Her husband Dave Goldberg died suddenly from a cardiac arrest and Sheryl recounts how she had to tell her kids that their father died. It was the worst day, they were unable to get out of the car at the funeral, they fell to the ground, unable to take another step. Sandberg, trying to be strong, held her kids as they wailed while they lay on the grass.
Sandberg said “the grief of losing her husband felt like a void, like it was sucking me in and pushing on me, pulling me in and I couldn't even see or breathe. Sandberg was honest with her feeling, and she made it known to the world and in the process provided the most significant leadership lesson of all time, there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable as a leader.
Be honest about your feelings.
According to Shawn Doyle, many people think that revealing your feelings as a leader is a sign of weakness. Sheryl thinks it is a strength and it makes employees more willing to discuss their feelings as well. Howard Schultz said the same thing when he returned as Starbucks CEO in 2007 during the worst decline in the company history. With tears in his eyes, Schultz emotionally said to all employees, if the company does not change, Starbucks as a company will be no more.
Schultz indicated the need to be open and honest but even more, he allowed himself to be vulnerable to connect with his employees, and as a result, Starbucks experience a spectacular recovery and cemented their status as one of the best brands in the world. Vulnerability is hardly a trait many leaders race to embrace according to Sheryl, but it can build deeper relationships and loyalty, enabling people to bring their whole selves to work. “I am much closer to the people around me than I was.”
What you may think is a weakness can actually be a sign of strength. Showing you’re human can help you become a great leader, no one is without problems and challenges, everyone has strengths and weaknesses; leaders are no exception. According to Lindsay Lavine, Linda Rottenberg, CEO of Endeavor, a nonprofit organization supporting high-impact entrepreneurs in emerging markets, vulnerability wasn’t a choice.
Her husband was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer just as Endeavor was rapidly expanding. In her book, Crazy is a Compliment: The Power of Zigging When Everyone Else Zags, Rottenberg describes how she let down her guard and informed Endeavor’s board about her family’s situation.
“Rather than freak teammates out and distance me from them,” she writes, “my vulnerability drew us closer. And it changed me as a leader. By showing my true self, by revealing that I needed other people, by communicating through every meeting, email, and, yes, the occasional tear that I wasn’t invincible, I allowed people–especially employees–to relate to me as they never had before. By indicating that I needed help, I received it in ways I never would have otherwise.”
Almost every leader I know and knew seems to think that being vulnerable is a bad thing – it implies that you’re weak or defenseless. But according to Haudan and Lind when someone is willing to admit they’re vulnerable, it demonstrates a level of trust and respect with the person or people you’re opening up to.
Great leaders recognize the importance of bringing vulnerability to work because it is the foundation for open and nonjudgmental communications. Vulnerability fuels the most robust relationships, and ultimately, helps bring even more success to your organization. Many experts indicated that Sheryl Sandberg is responsible for Facebook's stunning success because founder Mark Zuckerburg was not good at logistics or handling other aspects of Facebook's business like HR and advertising.
But one of Sheryl Sandberg greatest strengths is her ability to be vulnerable, and one of the boldest act of any leader is to be publicly vulnerable to your employees and by extension to the world.